Examples Gallery
Before/after rewrites, full content examples, and anti-patterns — filter by category.
Before & After
Website Hero Headline
Empowering educators with cutting-edge AI solutions for the next generation of learning.
- ✗Uses "empowering" (banned)
- ✗"cutting-edge" (banned buzzword)
- ✗"solutions" (vague)
- ✗"next generation" (banned)
- ✗No rebel hook, no personality
Education hasn't evolved in decades. We've spent fifteen years proving it can.
What changed
Product Description
Our end-to-end solution leverages advanced AI to deliver a holistic approach to personalized learning, empowering stakeholders to move the needle on student outcomes.
- ✗Five banned terms in one sentence
- ✗"end-to-end solution", "leverages", "holistic approach", "empowering", "move the needle"
- ✗"Stakeholders" instead of specific audiences
- ✗Passive, impersonal tone
Our AI adapts to each learner in real time. It listens, adjusts, and builds a path that fits — not a one-size-fits-all track. The result: learners who stay engaged and educators who see the difference.
What changed
Sales Proposal Opening
Dear Dr. Martinez, We are pleased to present our comprehensive adaptive learning platform, which provides a scalable solution for universities seeking to enhance student engagement and retention.
- ✗Stiff, corporate opening
- ✗"Pleased to present" (not A2R)
- ✗"Comprehensive" and "scalable solution" (buzzwords)
- ✗Doesn't reference the prospect's specific challenge
Dr. Martinez — your team shared that first-year retention is the priority this year. That challenge is exactly where we've seen the biggest impact. When we partnered with [University X], they moved from 60% to 84% completion in one semester. Here's how we'd approach it with you.
What changed
Social Media Post
We are excited to announce our new partnership with [Publisher] to deliver best-in-class adaptive learning solutions. #EdTech #AI #Innovation #PersonalizedLearning
- ✗"Excited to announce" (corporate formula)
- ✗"Best-in-class" (banned)
- ✗"Solutions" (vague)
- ✗Hashtag stuffing
Every learner is different. So why does most content treat them the same? We just partnered with [Publisher] to change that. Adaptive learning that actually adapts. More soon.
What changed
Bad News Communication
We take this matter very seriously and are working diligently to resolve the issue. We apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused and appreciate your patience.
- ✗"Take this seriously" (empty phrase)
- ✗"Any inconvenience" (minimizes impact)
- ✗"Appreciate your patience" (assumes patience)
- ✗No concrete next step
We know the integration delay is affecting your launch timeline. That's not what we committed to, and we own that. Here's where we are: the root cause is identified and the fix is in testing. We expect to have this resolved by Thursday. We'll update you Wednesday regardless of status.
What changed
Spanish Localization
La educación no ha evolucionado en décadas. Hemos pasado quince años demostrando que puede.
- ✗Technically correct but flat
- ✗"Hemos pasado" (spent/passed) is weak
- ✗Doesn't convey the deliberate effort
La educación no ha evolucionado en décadas. Hemos dedicado quince años a demostrar que sí puede.
What changed
Full Examples
Website Hero Section
OVERLINE: ADAPTIVE LEARNING, REIMAGINED HEADLINE: We don't replace teachers. We give them superpowers. BODY: For fifteen years, we've built AI that listens to each learner and adapts in real time. Not a script. Not a template. A living, breathing learning experience that grows with every student. CTA: See what adaptive learning actually looks like.
Voice checklist: Rebel hook (headline) + expert grounding ("fifteen years") + AI personified ("listens", "adapts", "grows") + soundbite (headline) + provocative CTA + inspired possibility + no buzzwords.
Blog Post Opening
Title: The Myth of One-Size-Fits-All Learning Every year, millions of learners sit through the same content at the same pace — and we call it "personalized" because they chose it from a catalog. That's not personalization. That's a menu. Real adaptive learning starts when the content itself changes based on how a learner thinks, struggles, and grows. When the AI behind the platform doesn't just deliver material but actually listens — and adjusts in real time. We've been building this for fifteen years. Here's what we've learned.
Voice checklist: Rebel hook (provocative reframing) + layered depth (simple → specific) + AI personified ("listens", "adjusts") + expert grounding ("fifteen years") + Hemingway style + no buzzwords.
LinkedIn Post
Every learner is different. Different pace. Different strengths. Different questions. So why does most educational content treat them all the same? We've been asking that question for fifteen years — and building the answer. AI that doesn't just deliver content, but listens and adapts to each learner in real time. That's what Cognitive Democracy looks like in practice. Curious? Let's talk.
Voice checklist: Playful-to-substantive flow + rebel framing (challenging status quo) + AI personified + brand lexicon ("Cognitive Democracy") + invitational CTA + short and scannable.
Email Campaign (Mid-Funnel)
Subject: What if your content could listen? Hi [Name], Most adaptive platforms react to what learners do. Ours listens to how they think. It sounds like a small difference. It's not. When content adapts not just to answers but to learning patterns, engagement shifts from compliance to curiosity. We've seen it with partners like [University X] — retention jumped 40% in one semester. Want to see what this looks like for [Institution]? → Explore a live walkthrough — The A2R team
Voice checklist: Provocative subject line + philosophical contrast ("react" vs. "listens") + evidence blend (case narrative + stat) + personalized framing + invitational CTA + collective "we" + short paragraphs.
Anti-Patterns
The Buzzword Storm
Our scalable, end-to-end solution leverages cutting-edge AI to empower stakeholders with a holistic approach to next-generation learning.
What’s wrong
Almost every word is on the banned list. Zero personality. Could be any EdTech company.
Instead, do this
We built an AI that adapts to each learner in real time — because education should be as unique as the people it serves.
The Fear Sell
The future of education won't wait. Your competitors are already using AI. Don't get left behind — schedule a demo before it's too late.
What’s wrong
Three fear-based phrases in four sentences. Creates anxiety, not inspiration. Contradicts A2R's opportunity-driven urgency.
Instead, do this
The opportunity has never been clearer. Leading institutions are already transforming how learners engage. Ready to see what's possible? Explore a live demo.
The Individual Voice
As our CEO, Maria, always says: 'The future belongs to those who innovate.' I personally believe that our team has built something special.
What’s wrong
Breaks collective "we" with individual voices. "I personally believe" is never A2R voice. Individual attribution weakens the collective.
Instead, do this
We believe the future belongs to those who build it. And we've built something we're proud to share.
The Over-Personified AI
Our AI cares deeply about your students' wellbeing and wants to help them succeed. It feels the frustration when a learner struggles and celebrates when they break through.
What’s wrong
AI personification pushed too far — attributing emotions (caring, feeling, celebrating) crosses from deliberate agency into fake anthropomorphism.
Instead, do this
Our AI listens to each learner and adapts in real time. When a student struggles, it adjusts. When they advance, it moves with them.
The Feature Dump
A2R offers: adaptive content delivery, real-time analytics, LMS integration, SCORM compliance, multi-language support, custom branding, API access, mobile optimization, and offline mode.
What’s wrong
Feature list without narrative. No connection to learner outcomes. No personality. Reads like a spec sheet, not A2R.
Instead, do this
Every learner gets a path built just for them — content that adapts, insights that guide educators, and an experience that works wherever learning happens.
The Softened Spanish
Queremos humildemente ofrecer nuestra pequeña contribución al mundo de la educación, con la esperanza de que, quizás, pueda ser de alguna utilidad.
What’s wrong
Over-hedged, overly humble, no rebel edge. Spanish localization must preserve A2R's confidence and boldness.
Instead, do this
Llevamos quince años demostrando que la educación puede ser mejor. Y apenas estamos empezando.
The A2R Opening Move
Across all high-visibility content, A2R's most effective opening follows this three-step pattern.
Rebel claim
1 sentence: Bold, provocative, challenges the status quo.
Expert grounding
1-2 sentences: Evidence, experience, or concrete proof.
Forward pull
1 sentence: Points toward the vision or the "so what".
Annotated Example
Education hasn't evolved in decades.
We've spent fifteen years proving it can.
And we're just getting started.